Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate your thoughts and as yet I am undecided what I should send. I don't want to be his mother by any means but it has reached a stage where I just cannot accept his outbursts and I need to say something. I have tolerated for so long and it cannot continue. We have spoken about it before and he thinks that when he loses his cool I should just understand that he doesn't mean it. It's hurtful and upsetting and I have finally reached a stage where I have to give him fair warning that I won't accept this behaviour anymore. I guess it comes from the addage that you get what you tolerate. I am able to handle the threats of divorce as an outburst of anger but the yelling and swearing at me is just not on. I guess I have come to the stage of recognising that nobody is more important than me and to be treated in this way just because he doesn't like what I have to say is not ok.
I think I am the one who has done all the reflecting and apologising over every issue to date. Even last night we spoke over something for our son and I used the opportunity to apologise. He accepts my apology and then uses the opportunity to reiterate how badly he saw me but never acknowledges his part. Last night I even said that it was both of us and he denied his part, putting the blame squarely on my shoulders. This provides no way forward to seek new understanding.
He would not treat anyone else in this manner and nobody else in my life speaks to me like that. Enough is enough! I guess I am thinking that I have to bank on the positives we have had over the past months which he too has agreed that he has enjoyed and say I want this but not with the risk of his outbursts. If he doesn't agree I have decided that it's too bad, I can't have any further dealings with him.
I think typing this out really does allow some thought clarification.
