I identify with many of the posters on this forum. I have read the books and tried the techniques. At this point I'm afraid that it all just leads to letting them walk out the door, instead of rebuilding marriage. 180's, GAL, Going Dark, these just seem to give up and I know that chasing, begging, R talks don't help, but does the opposite ever help? Separated four months now - my husband left. We've gone back and forth. A couple of times I thought he was coming back, he even slept in the bed once. But now he is back to - things will never change, if you haven't changed in eight years, how will you ever change, etc. When he comes over he yells about every detail that isn't changing. Last night I felt progress, we had a family dinner with our son, for the first time in many days he didn't yell at me, when I showed interest in his life, he seemed open to sharing it instead of the usual closing down and "you never cared about my life you dont care now", and when I said I loved him, he said he loved me too, "for what that's worth and it's not worth much." He has said that he doesn't see how anything is going to change and if he had to decide today he'd divorce me. We went to three therapy sessions and he went on and on about he doesn't see how coming back will be any different than the last time we were in therapy. He is afraid to trust. However, I'm still waiting to hear if he will return. I have hope but it's hard. Any encouragement or advice will be welcomed.
