A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Here are two recent emails to H. The first is giving praise and recognition where they are due, and the second is shaking things up a bit.

Re: email 2 - our parenting discussion last night also touched on housework, namely that he was dissatisfied with the state of the kitchen and wanted to clear the buffet that has become an overflowing repository of loose greeting cards, photos, drawings from kidlet, etc. I said that doing some cleaning and organizing projects around the house would help me process the grief over Gramma and would he mind if I did that? He gave me the green light.

<insert maniacal, evil villain laugh here>

The cards on the buffet spanned a good 2.5 years, dust and cat fur included. There were Christmas cards, Bday cards, loose snapshots of nieces, nephews, my father, etc. And there was at least one Valentine from OW which I very considerately did not burn in a pentagram inscribed on the front lawn. (Couldn't help seeing that one, but I honestly did not snoop through the rest)

The buffet has now been wiped down, the velvet runner restored and the only things on it are an attractive bowl of fruit, the coffee maker and two framed photos, one of SIL's baby and one of kidlet with my sister's two boys. Note: those photos were there originally, just buried. Stacking the cards on his bed will encourage him to sort them (maybe) or at the very least shove them in a bag or a drawer which gets them out of view. MY view in particular since I knew there was stuff from OW there and it niggled at me every time I walked by.

And that, btw, is an example of how I can put negative pressure on the A by just being here - and I even got his buy-in to do it.

<reprise maniacal laughter>

Emails to follow:
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Hi, there,

You know, last night's parenting discussion went so well that I wanted to take a moment to thank you for it, especially since it was late and I knew your shoulder was bothering you. Thank you for being open to the communication and for responding well. I also wanted to clarify something - I do NOT think you are a bad parent even if it's true that sometimes you don't notice that kidlet has worn the same clothes for a few days. It's just an oversight. I make oversights, too. My intent last night was not to blame you or demean you in any way; my intent was only to clarify parenting roles and solve the issue at hand.

I do hope that came through because I admire and respect you as a person and a parent.

Thanks!!

(no response so far)

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Hey, there,

I got an impromptu call from one of the sales guys and he is dropping by the house to leave some materials with me. To this end, I tidied the bar and the buffet in the kitchen. The bar is only 'better', not pristine, as I didn't know what to do with a lot of the stuff. The buffet is pristine, polished with Pledge, the runner shaken out, etc. I did not look through the cards and I did not throw any away. They are stacked neatly on your bed.

Cheers!

Dia
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(his response below)

Thanks!

I was thinking it'd be nice to clear the console anyway.


(Edit: I normally do not email him twice in a day, and normally only email him with business-related stuff.)