I'm with you on the family time issue. It may do more harm than good...particularly for the children who are probably looking for hope that you are getting back together and this is proof that you may. But I'm no child psychologist, so you might want to seek advice from a professional as far as impact on the kids.
As for your wife, obviously "slime" is an impediment to getting back together. I would assume that he is still in her life until she more definitively pursues you. I know it's a lot of on again, off again with the family time, but seriously, if she wants a separation and eventual divorce, why carry on the facade of the happy little family. I think maybe you should just tell her it feels like a sham and aren't sure it's in the kids' best interest. But that's just me.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
