OK, relax. Here's my day to give you some insight....my H wants to hang out with ex OW as she is soon leaving town. It bugs me to no end but I have to deal with it as best I can, which is admittedly a struggle. So, I made it clear, you go out with her alone, you're stepping across a line that just hurts too bad for me. You go out with her and some other work folks, I'll deal with it. And if you do plan to go out with her I want to know and I would like if you would come home to us. (It's his night off, he has his own place for now.) He was all pissy about it, called me controlling and at first I said it's about my comfort and then another DBer gave me better....It's a trust issue. I can't stop him from going out with her. I accept this painfully, but I do. I can ask him to not go out with her alone with an explanation of how this hurts me and him coming home to me, means he's not with her and again, builds some trust for me. (When I asked him to come home to me because I then know he's not going home with her he said "I've never gone home with her, why would that start now?" I would still like him next to me.) So I've set my boundaries and tried to be fair at the same time. Not sure I succeeded, but we'll see. I told him honestly, I just want you to not be in a position where you are going to do something with her physically. I know I could have had a BIG stink about him hanging out with her at all, but for me and our situation, it felt wrong to do that.
But I too have that oggly moogly feeling in my gut. But....I'm still breathing. You are too.
Yes, please speak with your wife about it. Ask her to consider your feelings and pretend if things were reversed....I would smack someone who tried to play Mommy to my son in any way shape or form, even on FB. You have NOT given up your place as father and really he needs to respect that. I agree with you, he's out of line and maybe his goal is exactly what you are thinking.
Here is another thing to think about: What right does he have to call that child out like that? Really it's no one's business that your child had to take medicine today....I don't care if he's talking about over the counter cold medicine. I find it personal.
Remember this: During this conversation that absolutely needs to happen be calm. Maybe even say it with a sort of laughing, are you kidding me tone, but not snarky. "Douche bag posted on D9's Facebook page about taking her medicine. I feel he's crossing a line in two ways....first, that's my job that I still haven't resigned from and NEVER will. That's a parent's job, asking that question. And second, I would NEVER ask her that for all of her friends to see to later ask her 'what meds you on?' Am I wrong here?" Get her on your side.
