Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[Hope4us]

Ali,

Haven't posted to you before, but your comment about your BF not wanting to talk about it ever really spoke to me.

My W doesn't either. Every time I bring the A up, she says "I'm trying to move on and all you do is bring it up".

So I guess my question to you is, how do you (or we) go about getting what we need to heal from what's happened when part of that healing (at least for me) is to KNOW what about the last 2 years of my life was real and what wasn't? It's almost like an episode of The Twilight Zone, you wake up one day and everything you knew to be true for the last few years is suddenly in question.

How do we get from them what we need when they claim to need to never talk about it? Or is never talking about it just easier for them and they're still pretty selfish because they are more concerned how this crap has made them feel than helping us heal from their betrayal?

I'd be interested in how you feel about it and how you plan on handling it in the future.