I admit I have been sending him texts of pictures of the kids doing summertime stuff (playing in the park and splashing in the pool) but nothing personal from me to him.
H says he is coming up to visit the girls either on August 28 or September 4. I dont know how long he is staying though. Last week I brought up the conversation about us setting up a schedule for him to see the kids on a regular basis. I told him that I am willing to bring the kids down to visit where he lives sometimes. He said we would talk about it later. So, I brought it up again today and he says we will talk about it when he comes up because there are some other things he wants to talk about and he would rather do it in person.
This is going to sound crazy but as soon as h says those words, I feel sick to my stomach with dread and fear. I know that I should not feel this way but my emotions are getting in the way again. I love him. Has H found another woman? Does he want to file for divorce? I have been trying to protect my heart through all of this by trying not to react to things that H says and preparing for the worst but I am failing.
After H made that statement, I tried to weed info from him. I know his business is not taking off like he wanted so I stated that building a business takes time. H states that he knows that. I then ask if what he has to say is bad news and he says "it depends on what you think is bad news." So, I just dropped the subject and ended the phone conversation.
Sorry to sound so petty but I have a habit of over analysing things since this separation was initiated. I am still holding out hope that things will work out between us.
Me:34 H:34 D:7 D:6 D:3 T:20years M:10years Bomb: Feburary 2009 Separated: May 2009 EA confirmed March 2010
