Vicky, She loves me too, She says so, but she is so hurt and feels guilt for what she did to me and anger for what I did to her.
I have worked for 25 of my 36 years of life to think kindly of human beings and it has been a struggle because they have not been so kind to me. After all of this, my anger is so close to the surface that I feel that there are people that should be hurt. (just an inner feeling, not a belief).
It also explains part of the reason for my affair. I don't know if I am alone in this feeling but ever since I was a little kid, I would feel like things were so bad that I should be bad myself. I fed on the electricity of being bad, I know I was doing this when I had my affair.
