My gut says stay engaged but its hard to know how much. I'm also second guessing myself a lot. Some days I feel strong and in control and others I'm sad, scared and struggling to make it through the day dues to anxiety. Yesterday she was very pleasant, today she seems more distant. Maybe she's just being nice to make sure I help out with the kids school clothes...Ive spent several hundred dollars in the last few days. Maybe she just agreed to stop sleeping over at his house with the kids because she fears I'll make a stink or challenge her parental rights. I have the kids this weekend and I'm already down and hurting because she'll be with this guy for the entire weekend. I dont know how to feel this constant pain without it slowly driving me away from her forever. I fear that we're going to lose our family and I honestly believe that we'll both regret it in 5 years...I know I will. But I feel powerless to do anything and I'm petrified to do the wrong thing.
This is the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. The toughest challenge with the most at stake. How to keep going?
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
