My wife and have recently separated (about two months ago) and are working towards a legal separation. We have been having problems for about 20 months. I discovered an EA a year ago and upon my discovery was ready for a divorce. At this point she expressed a desire to fix the situation and work on us so I backed down from the divorce. We came close to being a “couple” again but never quite got there (lots or resentment). So anyway, two months ago we decided a trial separation was the next step. For the first couple of weeks things were good however; on the 4th of July we had a big argument and things have since deteriorated. A few days ago I learned she had re-established her EA (after the big argument) and has gone on several dates with him. More deception on her part was involved here so, this really open-up some old wounds.
I told her I wanted an immediate divorce as the thought of them together disgusted me. I also told her that family time (we have two children, 6 and 8) would need to be eliminated as I could not stand to be around her anymore.
Yesterday, I told her I would be willing to continue family time but only if she agreed to stop seeing the other man. I told her I partially blame him for our current situation and that I could not look myself in the mirror knowing she was seeing this guy (I refer to him as slime). She did not agree or disagree but does seem intent on continuing family time. She understands how strong my feelings are on this position so I am assuming by wanting to continue family time she has discontinued the relationship with this guy. With all the previous deception however, who knows. My problem now is that I am not sure if continuing family time is good for me. I love my children and do not want to hurt them but I am not sure if I can move on and get over her when I constantly see her. She definitely wants the best of both worlds; lots of family time to include me but, also time to herself to date and be free. She is set on separation/divorce so spending time with her seems fruitless. Help!!!
