W can't break EA - not sure how to handle it

[Kettricken]

I also think you could quit taking full responsibility for this ala, "I pushed you into his arms".

Agree with this. Ghosts from her past notwithstanding, she is an adult and *deserves* ... in the positive sense of that word ... to be allowed to own her own decisions and their consequences.

Some of us(including myself) are always in danger of soft-pedaling or overnicing a response to a spouse because *we* cannot bear to see the evidences of *their* pain play out in front of us. That's understandable, but does nobody any lasting good.

I LOVED how you expressed yourself here:

W:.... You need to keep taking care of yourself."
M: "I prefer work on myself."
W: "Same thing."
M: "Work implies that it isn't easy."