Apparently yesterday afternoon, S4 (completely out of the blue) said to my W:
Mommy, you keep saying bad words to Daddy and Daddy keeps saying bad words to you. You both need to say you're sorry!
She told me this later as part of a long discussion she initiated by asking me about my meeting with the L.
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She was angry and upset through much of the discussion, part of it venting, and part of it justified complaints from her side (need to fix those).
But in the end of it, there were a couple of key breakthroughs:
- She said she was sorry
- She said she did not want to get divorced. She said she looks at out beautiful kids and just could never do that to them. It's too important that we both be there for them and not angry with each other right now.
- She said she is afraid of the impact that D would have on our lives (her life).
- She promised to delete OM from facebook (and did so immediately after the discussion
- When I told her "I will not accept ANY inappropriate relationships with other men" she got defensive and said "I am not going to not have male friends, or talk to men, etc", so I clarified "You may not have any relationship with another man that you would not be comfortable conducting in front of me" . She said "OK, I understand. I agree"
- She asked me (unprompted) "Would you like to go ring shopping with me?"
- She said "I AM working on our R. I think we HAVE to. That's why we are going to Retrouvaille!"
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
