That doesn't sound terrible, but what doesn't sound good is this "are you going to give me a kiss?" stuff, and the goodnight kiss stuff. In time you may realize that your wife is capable of being lovey-dovey with you so as not to hurt you. But look at the bottom-line. She wants to separate. She isn't ready for counseling. She hasn't stopped seeing OM. Those actions are the most telling.
I'm not suggesting you play hardball, but I am suggesting that you need to tone down this "can I have a kiss" stuff. You could stand to be a little less clingy, or whatever this is. I think to a woman (that is cheating) that it's desperate, needy, and unattractive. From what she's said, I think she could stand to have some doubts about where you stand with this. I think you could tone down the reassurances. I also think you could quit taking full responsibility for this ala, "I pushed you into his arms". There is a point where being Mr. Kind and Understanding just looks like Mr. Wimpy and Desperate.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
