It does seem that she is trying. The problem is that she is still trying by herself, not inviting me to try with her, and still keeping me in the dark. (If we're trying, let's work together, share thoughts and feelings and get some new tools to make it work)
She doesn't sound ready for this. You said it yourself in your last post, take it slow. She may still be at the point of trying to convince herself to try the "together" thing. I think my W is there as well.
The question is, what do YOU want? REALLY want? Would you be happy walking out at this point? Your call.
The detachment v. withdrawal thing is a real issue. Detachment is healthy in our sitchs. Withdrawal is a defensive mechanism (consciously or subconsciously) to minimize the hurt you fear might come or it can simply be anger at what she's doing. I understand it, b/c I'm there too.
Search yourself for what you want, and consider ALL the consequences. Unlike your W when she made a decision to bring up her unhappiness, you have a much better perspective (given you being on this board and reading DB) than she did.
