He went back to TX to "work on his issues" and get professional help... um no. Understandably, many that need help find any way they can to avoid getting it. I guess I'll ask, but I think it's a safe bet he hasn't made an appointment for that professional help yet?
Your H doesn't want to change. He has found someone that enables him to avoid that growing up and taking responsibility thing. I'm sure she IS messed up (you write a lot, hope you are keeping really good records of those statements from him) but she is financing his selfish drive to avoid hard work and commitment at all costs.
Please don't fall into the trap of excusing his cowardly behavior with a true MLC. The only crisis he is experiencing is the interference from OW's mom, who may eventually stop helping her finance this disaster. You'll be hearing from him then.
You sound intelligent and have a beautiful D with this man, so I'm assuming you have reasons for wanting him back So yes, you are going about THAT the right way if you are moving on with your life and only talking with him about your D.
The absolute best thing you can do is: 1) Stay at that job. 2) Get a place for you and D that you want to live in REGARDLESS of what happens with your H. A place you will NOT move from again-- I'm talking a place you can see D going to school and creating healthy ties and relationships. You move too much. You and D need stability and you do NOT want those two getting even the slightest chance to carry out their half cocked plan to get custody (delusional as they obviously are). 3) Rambling about D is almost the same as rambling about you. You are giving too much. He doesn't deserve to get all those milestones if he continues to make the choices he is making and won't get help he needs to be a good father. Take lots of pics, tell him how great she's doing. That's it.
Until he starts paying support and financing supervised visitation, you have to assume he will leave you hanging. He is telling himself he will make up for it "after he's married to OW and has his D full time". This is delusional but I'm betting he's believing it.
He isn't lying to spare your feelings, he's lying to keep doing what he's doing with no repercussions. If you set some boundries and really detach-- let him lie in the bed he's made-- he will want you back. If you want it to turn out better than last time, you can't let him come back as easily. But you know that
4)Document any police involvement, financial infidelity (and that lil forgery thing), everything you may need should he EVER get to the point that he sues for custody. I really, really, don't see that happening, but take care of YOU! 5)Which leads to 5-- I see you are working out, great! What 180's are you coming up with? And MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION I WANT YOUR NEXT ESSAY ON--What else are you doing for you?
Hope your day at work was just "ducki!" lol, sorry.
So yes, you are going about THAT the right way if you are moving on with your life and only talking with him about your D.
