The word of the day, and of the next few months is patience!
I think he has to get through what he did in his own mind before he can open up to you. And that is going to take a while, because he doesn't understand it any more than you do.
In the meantime, DB principles! Stay away from R talks, don't pursue, GAL, give him space to think and feel.
I think there is a lot of hope in your situation, but it is going to take a while.
