Just Keep Livin' #3

[givingitmyall]

You know she's following the script so I won't tell you that - even though I just did.

On number 2, I assume you don't badmouth her to your family so next time calmly call her on it : "W, I don't badmouth you to my family, you are assuming I do. If you want to know what I tell them, just ask me.".

[JKL2009]

I'm so tired of the script. She is still so angry with everything, it is annoying at this point. I don't bad mouth her to family, but indeed I have told them of times when she has done things I think are out of line (i.e. stay out all night, admit to EA, etc). I think she is trying to work through in her mind why she can never go back by creating this condition of my family not ever accepting her or some weird junk.

[JKL2009]

Last night, to paraphrase, I heard my WAW tell me several times (unprompted) "why would you want to even be with me anymore when I am so angry and all I do is complain about things? I listened, said that I understood she had a lot of legit complaints and I understood she was angry. Seems like she is probing the perimeter so-to-speak. Somewhere in there she is thinking of what like would be like with us still together. Better than not thinking about it, right?

[givingitmyall]

JKL,

Last night, to paraphrase, I heard my WAW tell me several times (unprompted) "why would you want to even be with me anymore when I am so angry and all I do is complain about things? I listened, said that I understood she had a lot of legit complaints and I understood she was angry. Seems like she is probing the perimeter so-to-speak. Somewhere in there she is thinking of what like would be like with us still together. Better than not thinking about it, right?

Do you see the pattern here? Before, it was all about YOU being the bad guy. All your fault for everything SHE was feeling, etc. Now, she seems to be turning this on herself a little.

Just stay the course. You know she needs time to work through her issues. You are doing the right things by just listening and validating right now.

[JKL2009]

Last night it was a very positive and light mood. She even fed me and S popcorn while watching TV, piece by piece into our mouths. WTF. This morning she wore this cute little dress and I made a comment on how good she looked, and she responded in a slightly flirty way.

[Dia]

Hi, JKL
Hmmm, flirty sounds positive, and the idea that she might have dressed up for you.

Keep it very, very light though! Don't scare this new critter away.

[JKL2009]

I am pretty certain she didn't choose what to wear with me in mind, but any positive interaction is something to appreciate it. This afternoon, we both are taking off work early to do some work around the house to get it ready to sell. Should be fun!

[givingitmyall]

Hang in there man.

[JKL2009]

We got a lot done and she thanked me for nice work I did. It was sincere and I appreciate it. Going to pick up S and all got out to eat at our fav Mexican place.

[JKL2009]

This weekend sucked. WAW was a roller coaster. Sat morning she was in a good mood. Afternoon, she broke down and was very harsh and mean. Later, she apologized for acting that way. Sunday was a repeat performance. I say anything to her that resembles a different opinion or opposing view, and she says I'm mean, yelling at her, or a jerk. I'm tired of this and ready for her to be out of the house (if it wasn't for being away from S so much).

I suppose I could look at this as a sign she still is struggling with things, but I don't believe any part of her struggles involves love for me. She blames me for what is happening to her, and has not for one second in the past 4 months plus did anything but dig in on leaving this marriage. Perhaps the fact that she is not joyful and calm about this all is positive, but I'm getting very tired dealing with they way she treats me now.