Dawn has good advice on the request. If you'd like, post what you're thinking of sending H here, and we'll give you feedback. I always got peace of mind from doing that.

SD

Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!