YOu might want to check out this site since you're now dealing with infidelity. It'll help you with certain issues you may have and can even question WASs who have gone through an A for clarity.
I guess "dependent" is the wrong choice of words. He shouldn't get the feeling that he "owes her one".
She's battered his self-esteem so much with the blame game (I think we both know how that feels) that until she actually says "I'm sorry" he shouldn't give her the time of day.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
YOu might want to check out this site since you're now dealing with infidelity. It'll help you with certain issues you may have and can even question WASs who have gone through an A for clarity.
Thanks for that. I registered as CIPA. I'm just waiting for the registraion confirmation
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Taking an interest in that job doesn't mean being dependent on her...I would see it as being able to get back home to the boys and the home you own.
That was what I had been thinking. My lawyer said my chances for primary custody improves from 1 in 4 (at best) when I am out of town, to 1 in 2 (at best) if I'm back in the home area.
The company has over 10,000 employees so I wouldn't even her.
I wouldn't think I owed her anything for this as all it was that she forwarded an email. If anything did happen with it, it would be up to me to make it happen. As far as the referral from her, I would chalk it up to her playing "nice" to offset some of her guilt. So I'm wouldn't even play into that nonsense.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
If she wants to make things right, how about starting with "I'm sorry..."
I agree, but I'm not going to hold my breathe.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
CIPA, apply for this job. This is about getting back to your boys, not her. Who cares who sent it to you ultimately? I think the fact SHE sent it means she wants you back that way too.....something to think about.
My suggestion would be to not take it. You don't want to seem "dependent" on her. If she wants to make things right, how about starting with "I'm sorry..."
Bingo!!! And taking responsibility for hurting you. Two wrongs dont make a right... You will know when she is sorry and wants to work on things.
Keep the focus on you and the boys. Use this time to do all the things you werent able to do before. Go skydiving!
My suggestion would be to not take it. You don't want to seem "dependent" on her. If she wants to make things right, how about starting with "I'm sorry..."
Bingo!!! And taking responsibility for hurting you. Two wrongs dont make a right... You will know when she is sorry and wants to work on things.
Keep the focus on you and the boys. Use this time to do all the things you werent able to do before. Go skydiving!
PMA
I don't see her taking any responsibility for what she has done to hurt me and the boys. I don't know if she ever will nor do I know what I will do if that day comes.
You are right though, I need to focus on me and the boys.
I was actually upset yesterday when I skyped my boys last nite and my 7 year old said that they missed soccer because it was too hot. That is utter BS. I know he was excited to try the moves he learned over the weekend. What I do know, the last several weeks we had gone, she bitched about how hot it was.
I guess this is a testamont to her selfishness. Perhaps I'm reading her mind or maybe my boy really didn't want to go. But what I could see the last two nites, the look in his eye that something was wrong. One thing that I do like about skype is that when I talk to them, I know that she is in the room and can hear me. But I am trying to live my life and treat my kids with honesty and dignity that there is nothing that I say that I would not want her to hear.
I will see my boys tomorrow. That is what is going to get me through today....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Go for that job. It gets you back home and you don't manage a McDonalds. You don't even supervise. You have a very very specific skill set, hence why you had to take a job hours away in the first place.
Take the opportunity and apply for this job and let her know, "OH, yeah, I already knew about that job before you sent it to me, but thanks though."
Get back home to your boys CIPA. This is a no brainer.
