H is still not speaking to me! I was speaking to my BF's husband and he asked me to pass on his best to H. I text him and he ignored my message. His threat to have nothing to do with me has apparently not changed!
I agree with you that H did not like what I had to say at all. In fact, I strongly agree that what I said to him really did 'hit him in the face' and he had to move into anger mode because he couldn't really deny it. I had hit him with the truth. So, instead of denying or accepting my words he threw all the divorce threats at me and proceeded to tell me I was crazy. It then became my problem instead of his. Now he has reasserted his power by refusing to speak to me.
H asked D where I was going for the few days. I do tell my kids where I am going and what I am doing but I have never asked them to tell him or not tell him. There's no secrecy......especially since I only go places for work or with family and friends. While I don't set out to tell H everything, I really don't care if he knows where I am going and I would tell him if he asked so I don't think it creates any real pressure for the kids. When H left he had nothing to do with the kids so I spent a great deal of time 'fixing' the problem and talking to the kids about love and forgiveness. I deliberately worked with the kids to move to a position of love for their Dad. I would never ask them to choose one of us over the other.
Sanderika, Thanks so much for your insights. I always find them so helpful and your perspective is most appreciated. I am finding things difficult at the moment so it is heartening to have support.
