Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[WalkingMan]

Bj,

Well, I've been a fan of my wife for over 10 years now.

About two years ago, she made a major mistake you could say and lost her job. According to her, the issue had gone on for over 4 months before she was caught. I was away on a business trip when she called with the news. I had to get several loans, sell the house and move close to my family. I was barely able to pay our bills and this put a huge strain on our marriage. After the loss of my Father the following year, I had to help with my mother as well. So needless to say, I had zero time for my wife.
And my wife offered as much support as she could.

Looking back, I'd have to say it was last April when she began to plan to leave me. I had been on overdrive so long, I sunk into a major depression. The signs were there, I just didn't see them. Then, last December, I got the "I don't want to be married anymore talk." I'm pretty sure she was having an EA by that point with an ex from college. Over the next few months we went back and forth. I would set up MC, and she would bail.

Finally in April, she got a new job and had to go on a business trip. Everything changed after that. I snooped and found she was making weekend trips up to see the OM (CC records, Phone records, etc). When she came back, she moved into her own apartment and has been there ever since. She filed two months ago and we have one week before it's finalized. But she really been dragging her feet.

There's been a lot of drama, throughout all of this. I did everything, 180's, GAL's, acting as if; and it became natural for me. I lost 30 lbs and now I'm in great shape. She noticed, and then I got the whole, "why not before." But I stuck with it and she now knows the changes are for me and perminant. Anyway, when I do get around to it, I'll post my entire sitch on Newcomers.

To answer your questions...

We've been separated since April. She had been planning on divorcing me for about year without my knowlege. Initially, we got together and decided to be separated, but work on us. But once the OM got involved, things changed fast. She became bull in a china shop and the only good thing is that he lives out of state. She found a therapist, and says he's a god send, but he is not pro marriage and seems to be pushing her toword divorce.
She been blowing money and even though she makes a bit more than me, I end up having to help her with bills.

Finally, after reading some posts here, I 'dropped the rope.'
No more help, nothing. You asked about the frienship. I've been her best friend since we met and we've always been very close. It's the one bit of leverage I have in this. So, I feel that she must know what it will be like if we divorce, because I will not be her friend. She has to see what she's losing. I know it's because of this that she's had second thoughts about the D. Unfortuately, she equally stubborn. I have no expectations though.

At this point, I've been DB'ing for 9 months. I look back to this Spring and remember what h@ll my life was on the roller-coaster of WAW.