GG-

have you tried talking to a DB coach? It ain't cheap, but it is well worth the $ to have someone who listens to your sitch and gives you advice tailored to what you are going through...

Me: 50; Wife: 48
Gay; civil union in NJ
no kids
M: 15 years, together 17
Bomb (OW) 2/09 (EA 3mos/PA 3mos) ILYBINILWY
W out of house, w/OW, in separation talks, nothing filed