Where do I begin? If he stands me up, what should I do. The last time I just went ahead and saw the movie without him. Should I just not even bother to schedule dates with him anymore. should I use NC as a means of setting boundaries, how should I actually do this. I just realized that I don't know how to do this properly.
They actually have entire books written about boundaries, and I've read a few of them this past year. I think some people are just naturally better at setting and maintaining boundaries, but some like me can learn with practice.
I think the way you handled that last time with the movie was PERFECT!!! I'm rereading the MWD book on Changing your life, and she talks about stuff like that. I know one example she gives in there was a couple whose friends would always show up late to dinners with them, hours late. So finally they had a dinner at their house, and when their friends didn't show up they went ahead and ate without them, put their friend's food in tupperware and the frig. They heated it up when they got their hours later. She says the next time they made plans with the friends, they showed up on time for the first time ever. But even if it hadn't worked, the couple was not allowing their bad behavior to ruin their dinner and fun.
I think since that seemed to work out so well (when you went to the movie without him) I would keep doing that. Not letting his lateness hurt you in anyway or keep you from having fun. Eventually if he keeps doing that, then maybe it would be natural for you to just make plans with others, but maybe you could keep giving him a chance a few times until you feel that it is just total disrespect for you.
