That's great that your H emailed you. I like your response. Make sure you keep it warm & friendly - because you know, we all hate rejection. Could you add you had your weekend plans for ages?
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
Your planned email is GREAT. You are right: do not cancel plans with your friend to have a router meeting with H!
I am SO sorry to hear about your folder. I am praying that it is returned to you soon! If it's any consolation, when I first got my first cellphone, I lost it the first week I had it... It slipped out of a pocket on the boston subway. MIRACLE OF MIRACLES, I kept calling the Boston Public Transportation Lost & Found and it was turned in within a few days. So ... it does happen. It could happen to you!
Yay!!! I found my folder. Triple phew! I had sneekily gone into a shop to look at some shoes on the way home from my meeting and it was in there. That'll teach me!
I sent a slightly warmer email to h, and he sent me a reply wishing me a lovely weekend but also telling me about his trip to the cat shelter to look at cats. I have spent a good while muttering and ranting but finally replied with a short, taking a light interest, email mainly talking about Maple. Because, as we all know, she is the best cat
Yipee!! So glad you found it. Did you even have to let the higher up's know? What a huge relief.
Sounds like he is trying to make his home similiar to what he was used to perhaps. Of course no cat could replace Maple anymore than any other woman could replace you. Hope he figures that out on the small scale and can connect the dots to the larger version!
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It is actually scary how similar his new life is to our old one. He moved to London for a year and i think realised it wasn't all that he thought it would be - he admitted that to me once.
Let's hope he does connect the dots. His new life is never going to be as great as the one we shared. We had so much fun, right up till that summer and his then new job. Even when he was ill we shared some of our best times together.
I think that he is realising I wasn't all that bad now. I don't know what he had built up in his head. It has taken me quite a while to realise I am not all that bad too.
Well, I think when it all comes down to it - it's called - Pride & societies expectations. I'm certain, that is why my xh didn't want to try. (Well that & not learning the skills to). You are supposed to hate your x - not get along with them.
Your H is in a bit of a circle (merry go round) isn't he?
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
It has taken me quite a while to realise I am not all that bad too.
Meeting new people who think you are fun and interesting while GALing should help underscore that for you. I have found that to be the case. Have you thought about how to react when men start showing an interest in you? I am trying to sort this out right now. Jody says it's pretty common for men or women to start showing interest when we LBS's kick the GAL activities into high gear. Telling H some very interesting stories about your interactions with new friends may cause him to question his past perceptions of you.....
Originally Posted By: JCJ
He moved to London for a year and i think realised it wasn't all that he thought it would be - he admitted that to me once.
Did H live in London before you met or after the separation? Wouldn't it be interesting if H saw YOUR life in London as the life that he had hoped for when he lived there?
Regarding your H looking for a new kitty, there will never be another Maple,.....but could this be an opportunity for increased communication between the two of you? Cat lovers love to talk about their cats, don't we? Maple could send little greeting cards, toys, or catnip to her/his? new step-sibling.
Wow, Julia, the email from H sounded very positive. I can understand how much you would like to go to this dinner but in some ways your inability to attend could be positive.
I like your response. Make sure you keep it warm & friendly - because you know, we all hate rejection. Could you add you had your weekend plans for ages?
