well had the coaching it went ok.. I should bassically keep doing what i am doing its good that she wants so much contact and i need to keep up having her call me. (I need to do this so she misses the kids and me) I need to be her friend and keep the lines of communications open. I need to keep working on reflective listening and not talking about the past even if she brings it up.
she belives she is reverting to her past because she had to grow up too fast with parents who drank and a little sister she had to help out with... then having our first daughter at a young age forced her to grow up.
her contact and fighting with me is sorta a good thing because she still loves me and wants to be friends shows she has not truily given up. but it sounds like this will take a very long time
I had a phone call from her this morning and it started out very bad.. bassically it was a finish to a fight from sunday.(boy I tried to stop that ASAP) then she still was very insistant we are friends and saying there was not going to be anything more.. I told her i agreed we need to be friends... she wants to see how we do for a week and then see where we are. (boy she has this all thought out!)
we did end the phone call talking about normal stuff from when we were little and we both went to this one local park as kids (never togeather though as we did not know eachother) sure seemed good though till she had to let me go cuz a co worker came in and she is not to be on the phone got her normal texts through out the day.
