Husband left me for OW

[Arwen_in_NJ]

KTF-

I am in a very similar situation to yours- http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1811031&page=1

I think my W is having a mid-life crisis. Your H may be as well, even if he is not yet at "midlife".

Here is what seems to be working so far for me: detach, detach, detach. Drop the rope. Get a life, get busy, take care of myself, don't wait around for her to get home, be out having fun, be a little mysterious. Be the greener grass (I love that one!)

Here is what definitely has NOT worked for me: talking about how good the relationship was (she has a totally different perspective, and right now she sees only what wasn't working between us); telling her how painful it is for me (she wants me to acknowledge how painful it is for HER); telling her she is making a mistake.

It is a road she is going to have to walk and figure out herself. If that other relationship blows up, and I am pretty sure it will, I may or may not still be available to put things back together, depending on how long it takes her fog to lift. Every day apart is more water under the bridge- but at least for now there still IS a bridge.

What I am not doing and will not do, until/unless a D is final, is get physically or emotionally involved with someone else. I actually had to say no to sleeping with someone last night- tough to do after no sex for 8 months. But this board is full of stories of folks that have incredibly complicated their reconciliations because they had an affair while/because their partner had an affair.

Have you read Divorce Remedy yet? Do it.