W can't break EA - not sure how to handle it

[Dia]

Tristan - that's a good question. My sitch is a bit unusual because H and I lived 200 miles apart until just recently. OW lives 2000 miles away, but her family lives here in town. OW sees H when she visits her family. She is a teacher, so that means mostly Christmas and a visit or two in the summer.

I am pretty certain they have slept together. They sure as heck aren't doing it with me under this roof even if I am just an allegedly temporary guest!

In between one of my visits, H, OW and kidlet went on a picnic. I believe FIL kept kidlet afterward and H may have stayed out with her or spent the night with her - I am not entirely certain.

How do I handle it? I don't like it. I want it over, pronto. I ignore it for the most part and distract myself HARD if it really bugs me. However - there's this line in either the DB or DR book that says something like, "if you knew - if you absolutely knew for certain that your spouse would be 100% back with you and committed to the marriage in 30 days, how would you act?"

Well, if I knew it would all be history in 30 days, sheesh - I wouldn't worry about it.

I think I said this in my own thread, but a long distance relationship with OW will never be able to stand up to a happy, sassy DBing WIFE who is right here at H's fingertips.

I'm here in the house. I have hugs, warm smiles and compliments from H every single day. Let *her* be the one to stress about where I'm sleeping or what we're doing together. Me, I'm working on me, getting my own life in order and giving H a chance to see how awesome his wife is, and yes, it is shaking him to the core.

H has explicitly stated to me that he does not want to marry OW. He has never claimed to be in love with her. He has also stated to me that he probably doesn't want to marry again maybe ever. So for me, the task is not to break him up with OW; it's to get him to commit to being vibrantly married to ME. If I achieve the second, I will have already achieved the first in the process.

He's confused, conflicted and very clearly still in love with me, still attracted to me and can't even be near me w/o trying to hide a very physical response to me. Time is on my side.

Will I tolerate this forever? Absolutely not.

Will I tolerate it for now? Yes.