The whole dynamic here is so messed up that it's hard to come up with good suggestions. So, I'll only give you one: Start at square one..with you. Focus on making your own life one that you like. Take him out of the equation. Don't worry about what he's doing or how he's choosing to live his life. You make yours as complete for you and your daughter as you can. When you are satisfied with your life, and have your act completely together, then you can look at him and see if he brings even one single thing to the table.
Don't let his behaviors derail you or make you take a step back. He won't like it if you aren't in to him, but don't then fawn all over him like you are desperate for him. He doesn't sound like a real prize anyway, so you should be able to demand better. Don't settle for less than him getting his act together. Keep moving forward. If he isn't willing to become a man you can trust and be with, then don't settle for him.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
