I don't get it. You are acting as if you have some financial security WITH him and you don't.
He is NOT reliable so how do you lose by enforcing boundaries financially? As in getting a legal order for support so you don't have to keep asking him and hoping he pays enough and isn't borrowing money or spending it like a drunken sailor and blah blah blah. ALL THIS POWER TO HIM and yet he is NOT reliable.
What are you losing by enforcing something with him? YES You are letting your financial insecurity dictate and I think it's irrational b/c you think you have $$ security with him, in the face of overwhelming evidence that you do not...that's the thing. j-
Here me out please. Right now, I can get H to give me what I ask for most of the time. The insecurity comes from me not having a steady income and my dependence on him. Without a good/great lawyer, I will get no where near what I am getting now. He has already given me more than I would get for child support. The alimony needs to be hashed out plus his diminished income and refusal to go get a job (he could easily make 4-5 times what I can) are issues that a great lawyer can address.
Regardless, I am going to meet with H soon to agree on a monthly amount and I will move into a cheaper place (lease is up here soon and it is waaay too expensive). I would love to discuss this with you IRL.
I have a modicum of control with H right now. I am hopefully going to find out this week if something I am selling will garner me enough money to move and hire an attorney.
While I do not have financial security, I do have most of the bills paid.
