My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[RedSoxFan]

Thanks Stronger! I am fighting and I'm doing everything in my power to take the high road and fight clean. I would never, ever involve our kids in this in any way. I do my best to smile and be positive whenever the bring the other guy and his kids up in conversation. I have made sure not to even probe or ask questions. The good news is we have a very good open relationship so they share everything. In this case I sometimes wish they wouldn't share

He has two a daughter and son roughly the ages of our older two.

You're right about our being legally married and her not seeing it that way. She worked hard to move on and in her mind I've really upset the balance right now.

I do believe she cares. She told me she still loves me and will always love me. But there is a huge wall of hurt, mistrust and pain from many years of poor marriage standing in the way. She feels I abandoned and to her that is the ultimate unforgivable thing. So the challenge is really huge. On top of that I am so emotional these days' I've opened some new doors for myself personally, that I have a hard time controlling myself, doing the 180, etc.

Next steps? Well, she knows where I stand. I've told her that I will wait. She also knows that I'm looking for a house in the kid's school attendance zone. I need to keep moving forward with my life. I can't count on what she'll do but I do have to be the best father I can be for my children. I'm probably leaning a little too much toward pursuing too hard. It is just sooo hard not to.

She and I are not intimate. She's been crying a lot in our recent conversations. I'd settle for just holding her and making her feel better.