If I didn't have to go to work today at 5pm I would not leave my bed.
I just don't feel very good at all. I feel like there is so much that needs to be explained to my wife and that if she just understood, she would wake up from this negative trance that she has been in.
I have already tried that though. It seems that she hears only the pieces that she needs to condemn the marriage, so I won't do that anymore.
But today, I have nothing to fill my day with, just read until time to work, then come home and go to sleep. I won't stay like this for long, just okay to do it today I think.
I wish there were P.M. available, I could sure use a conversation with some folks here.
I wish there were a way I could explain to myself: How did I feel that I wanted to save the marriage but at the same time develop an affair? How could I have done this but not given up on my marriage? I don't even understand myself.
