Ok, time for an update. I think I need help. I am totally trying to get back a hold of myself. As some might have pridicted H was just trying to pull me back into him since he saw I was so committed to moving on. I just dont know anymore. So he was showing that he so want the marriage back and he will do whatever it takes to get it back, etc. And I opened up again and told myself that this is my H after all and this is what I've wanted for so long so I need to give it a shot right. But now that he feels like he has me right where he wanted me, he's going back to his old self. I just don't know if I wan tto be bothered anymore. This isn't even about OW. It's about him and his general disrespect. I think the man just doesn't have enough respect for me. Maybe this is all the fact that I'm a little upset at him but I am going back to nc. I need to distance myslef so I can get back to where I left off, I swear I have reverted to total pursuit mode and I can't stand it. I read from one of Karen's post that R have distancer/pursuiter roles, and I'm definitely the pursuer and H the distancer. But he can be so inconsiderate it's unbelieveable. So this is what happened this weekend...
Thurs: I went to visit MIL, H was home, we hanged out the night, I even stayed over there. Fri: I texted early in day, he called the evening Sat: nc Sun: I called H. I even asked if I'm going to see him today? [dummy]. H says he has no plans and he will come on by after doing some work at our property. I waited and H never showed up. I called him about 11pm, no answer. Mon: he called acted casual. I acted distant. Then we got into discussion. I told him that he doesn't know how to make me happy. He doesn't even want to. And the man who was professing that he wants t be happy with me says that I should go find my freiend to make me happy tehn. He was completely dismissive and acted like a "donkey". We did a few back and forth on the phone with more so me calling him to speak my mind without yelling though. He didn't really want to hear crap. Then he calls me in the afternoon, I ignored the calls and then answered after a few calls. he even went to discuss am I with my friend having fun. As my mother says, I should tell him he sounds totally trashy. Which is true, b/c he keeps making these comments now that I run after guys and like I'm one of these women who are all about men men, and that is so not me. All these years of dealing with his crap and I have never cheated on him although he would deserve that. But I'm feeling like its just another way of disrespecting me and I think I need to have him cut that out for real.
Anyway, today, nc with him. I don't want to talk to him. We were even suppose to see a movie today and I just don't want to. I'm going with my sister. Is this the actions of a man that's trying to come back home. I'm can't even imagine living with him under these conditions. If he's out and acting this way, imagine when he gets back in the home.
