WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

The craziness continues.

She emailed me today about a position in her company that she knew I would be interested in.

I just replied with a "Thank you"

I probably should have just ignored it, but didn't want to look like a complete a**hole. Looking back at it, I am kicking myself that I even replied. I guess I'm still weak and I let her control me.

I spoke with my therapist last nite as it seems even more painful now than it did when she dropped the bomb on 1/9/09. Even when she moved out on 4/18, it didn't hurt so bad.

It seems like the wounds had almost scabbed over and it has just been ripped open with a bazooka and I'm starting the road to healing all over again. It does seem pretty bleak and I'm so tired as I've been trying so hard over the last seven months. I just don't seem to have the energy to keep going/trying.

I know when I see my boys, I will be recharged. That will be on Thurs AM. I will take them to CT to see one of my oldest, dearest friends and his family. I'm looking forward to it. The only pain I have is that the last time I went there with my boys, she told me she found an apartment the weekend we were gone.....

I continue to pray for strength and wisdom to get me through this maddness....

This is really hurting today.

I talked to my therapist again last nite.