Scared and need advice

[Laurie]

Hey dear LFA,

So maybe I should not say that I agree to talk about house, dogs etc. but hear him out.

Offering to "hear him out" can communicate that you understand he wants to make some progress and you are willing to do that versus stonewalling. It can offer you a sense of what he is thinking as well.

Tell H that I talked to a L & understand the options, but before we get Ls involved could we see a MC just as a mediator, not to save marriage, so I could get understanding of what happened?

You are not asking him to come and save the M, only to help you understand his decision. So, this offers a much less pressurized situation for him, plus can again offer some insight to you. Also, it can show that you are taking steps to adjust to his wanting to move forward. He may or may not be open to this, but unless you believe he will have a highly negative reaction to this, it seems worthwhile to try.

LFA, please keep in mind that any advice you get from anyone, needs to be weighed against what you believe the outcome would be. So, please avoid any suggestions that feel highly risky that could get intense and angry reactions from your H, OK?

This appears to be a time to balance taking care of yourself financially, emotionally, and spiritually, as well as trying to remain civil during this process. As that can keep the crack open in case your H really has second thoughts about this.

And dear LFR, how are YOU doing? Are you holding on to some good friends or family for support right now? I hope so. You have a dear heart. As my heart goes out to you, I am aware of how this situation looks like right now and it is good to prepare yourself. I also know that as determined as your H is to get this D at this time, it is hard to know if that motivation will stay that certain. You have my deep support.


Take care,