...I'm not talking about "pickup skills," I'm talking about pretending to be loving, caring and compassionate to lure a woman. You know what, though, you're on to something, if LBH's talked to their wives the way OM's do, they would be happily married. You're a hypocrite, anyway, as you were giving lengthy details on how to gradually coax a woman into sex while pretending you're not.
The only hypocrite here is you. If you communicated, really communicated to your husband instead of just assuming he read minds, you could have told him "Look husband, I am feeling unloved because you don't show me that you are loving, caring and compassionate to me. I need these things to feel loved and to maintain a loving attitude towards you. Without these things, I will become angry & distant towards you and will contemplate leaving and finding someone else who can provide those things for me."
But let me guess breakaway, you shouldn't have to communicate those things to your husband because he should already know. Who is setting the double standard now? As for your husband or any husband, he's not your daddy, he's not "supposed to" love you like your daddy does, no matter what you do and it's quite possible the distance created between the two of you withered & died because you also neglected and/or pissed on it because you didn't want to communicate your needs, you wanted him to just know just like that "pick up" guy and his manipulative ways knew and it brings us back full circle to the point that you wanted to be "taken", you wanted specific words spoken to you in such a way so that you could feel the emotion of love and then this "pick up" guy had his way with you and once he did he had no further use for you.
So instead of communicating your needs which would be the mature thing to do, instead of assuming your husband is a mind reader and should know those things, you gave up on him and his uncaring ways and found someone with an "attitude of manipulation" who saw that you were waiting for someone to do those things for you without you having to tell them to do those things which then allowed him to take advantage of you in a moment of weakness.
The true hypocrite is the person who says that such things happened in their lives and it was out of their control, they were "manipulated" by someone who said & did the right things and in doing so you release yourself from the responsibility of your life.
As for my telling Orich to offer massages. Providing footrubs, handrubs, backrubs, they're all considered "touch charges" and done in a loving manner go a long way to recreating a bonding process between spouses who don't engage in regular touching during a period of time when they're separating, not talking regularly to each other. I still stand by it, touching in either a sexual or non-sexual way does bond the people involved, doing it regularly improves that bonding experience. If wanting to touch our spouses because we derive pleasure from it is a manipulative thing then we're all guilty of it.
Breakaway you're angry and that's unfortunate but using me as a punching bag won't work. Plus the connotation of your responses all tend to have a hidden "me, me, me" flavor to them. If you want attention like I mentioned before, communicate with your husband and let him know exactly what you want. I think I've been rewarding your crap behavior with my replies & attention long enough so this will stop now from my end because I say it will. You continue to do what you like. You don't like my advice or my methods, good for you. I tend to be results oriented and I like what works but you can continue focusing on things that don't work because that is your choice.
