Sounds as if you are doing well and I'm glad for you.
I also got the "I want us to be friends....I want you to be there for me and me to be there for you." comment.
I think it's a combo guilt reliever and cake reservation projector on their part. If we're "friends" then what I've done to you wasn't that bad. And if we're "friends" then you'll still be there when I need you.
Don't let that crisisbabble mess with your head or get your hopes up like I did at one time. Chart your course with what is right for you formost in mind. If she ever decides to come out of this and back to you she can find you.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
Agree. I actually saw an article that says the best way to move on is..outside of communication with kids, dropoffs, etc...to cut all ties holding you to them. But, hey...
To Dawn of Hope..and went to that thread and posted. I tried to mellow things out but I think the gist of the advice is spot on.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Agree. I actually saw an article that says the best way to move on is..outside of communication with kids, dropoffs, etc...to cut all ties holding you to them. But, hey...
I agree. After experiencing both side of this, it is easier this way.
If I may finish where you left off.....
but hey.... then they send all kinds of mixed messages and try to pull you back into the craziness.
You would like to have faith, but at the same time it is impossible to tell what is real. So you must assume that it isn't real and there goes your faith.
You would like to have faith, but at the same time it is impossible to tell what is real. So you must assume that it isn't real and there goes your faith.
Well said...I played that game too. I would get pulled in just long enough to get my hopes up. Then BAM...he was gone again. Oh well, we live and learn.
Well, I haven't really been pulled along. I tried to send a message in the nicest way possible that I'm not going to play that game. It's been going on two weeks now. I don't plan on doing anything different unless I see something.
It really doesn't get my hopes up now, more like frustration I guess. Whatever.
I don't know what it is, but this last week I have felt really strange. I can't even describe it. Just strange.....the past has been on my mind a lot. Not just with her, with everything.
I have been working around the house rounding up anything I can sell.
I finished up my second round of major cleaning. The whole basement is just about finished. I went through EVERYTHING.
I came acrossed even more items and pictures this time.
I looked for a while.
I am absolutely amazed at all the wonderful experiences that I had totally forgotten about. I still can't believe how much I didn't remember. I wonder if she has forgotten as much as I had. (stupid question)
Trapt, what you are dealing with is a touch and go. What happens now? Anyone's guess! Continue to live your life and see! I hope you have worked something out for your home.
I'm doing what I can to stay afloat. I have a really busy weekend planned. Mainly just work but hey, I've got to keep going even though it doesn't look good.
I have actually had some more contact with her this past week. I just haven't been posting much. She left a really long message on my voicemail last weekend. It was mainly for the kids. At the end of it she said "I love you guys." She sounded really strange after she said that too. Like she just realized what she said. It was funny.
She called yesterday regarding next Wed. My daughter gets to visit the school. She talked about that quite a bit. I was fairly quiet. My answers were short. At one point I could hear her voice sort of breaking up (for lack of a better word) I am not sure what that was all about, but thats nothing new.
Your right though, who knows what it means if anything. All I do know is that as long as there is someone else in the picture, there isn't going to be any "best friends" like she says she considers me.
There won't be much of anything changing unless she shows me something.
Trapt, you are exactly right, one of the things I have learned on here is as long as there is an OP, spouses or XS are unlikely to attempt a return. I guess it goes back to the big fat WHATIF. I really don't know, but that is what it appears like to me. Best advice I can give you is to continue to move forward and down let it get you down. Work on making yourself better and take care of your kids.
