Breakaway, You are leading right now. Your husbands sees the positive changes you are making for yourself. IMO the reason he didn't prfusley thank you for the note you sent is because he doesn't know how to get a compliment. Is he comfortable giving them? Chance to model good behavior for him again. What would say the changes you have made for yourself are that are working?
Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
