Monday: W and I had no contact during work hours. I arove home at 7 a little later than normal. W was not there; MIL was watching children. I asked MIL if she knew where W was (she is normally home by 6); she said that she called and would be out shopping. In my gut, things did not feel right and the anxiety began to build up. I played with the children for about a half hour. And then left to walk over and see a mutual friend of ours who knows almost our story.
Friend X is very spiritual and a great person. The fact that both my W and I trust her makes her a great person for support. She had told me to stop by to talk a couple of weeks back. Tonight was a good night to do that. It was good to pass the time. W stopped in at 8:15 and seemed upset. X asked her to sit down, she did. X finished a disturbing story from her childhood. At this point, it felt awkward and I said "I just came over to talk. I hope you don't mind".
W replied, "No I don't mind. She knows everything. I need to go, I am worried about mom." She left rather abruptly.
Feeling the tension in the air. X and I finished the conversation and I left to go back home. When I arrived, 2 girls were upstairs crying. I went up to see them both clinging to W. They were upset that both of us were gone for much longer than normal without letting them know. W was about to explode. I did my best to try to settle them down, but was not all that successful in the beginning. Finally, we got them calmed down and to bed. The one statement I remember W pleading with D5 "D5 please don't do this. You are really hurting me. Please don't do this. You are hurting mommy."
After the ordeal with children. I could tell that W was extremely irritated. M: "Are you OK" W: "I am fine, just tired. I am running a training tomorrow and need to be at work by 8:30. I need to run by Dunkin Donuts and store to get supplies for training. This whole training is just me." M: "You feel overwhelmed?" W: "Yes. That is probably it, I am overwhelmed. Would you like some icecream?" She is distant, not touching. Exact opposite from the weekend. We sit down with the dessert, she seems to be warming up and getting in a better mood as we eat. I mention that I read that it can sometimes be good for spouses to go to the psych appointment and ask if she would
like me to join her?" W: "Why do you not think that I am telling him everything?" M: "No, I just read that it may help me get a better understanding of what you are going though." W: "Oh, OK. No I think I am OK. But thank you for taking interest. Want to see the new outfit I got?" M: "Sure."
Upstairs, she models her new outfit which is very nice (sexy). She asks "You think I can wear this when we go dancing again?"
M: "It's perfect."
After her modelling routine. We get ready for and into bed rather quickly. It was obvious she did not want to talk much. She gives me a quick kiss and nestles her head on my chest to go to sleep. Before we go to sleep, I ask her if she has ever heard of Imago therapy. She is a social worker, so there was a decent chance that she would have; but she hadn't. I tried to explain the little I knew about it. She said it sounded interesting.
Tuesday: I wake W up at 6:30. She wraps her arms around me and stays in bed for several more minutes. After getting up, she hurries to get ready and out the door for work. She comes into the bathroom to give me a kiss. I ask for a hug, I know I shouldn't have (moment of weakness), she gives me a tight and rather long one. Off to work she runs.
I made a mistake this morning and mentione OM to MIL. W told me that MIL already knew, I guess not. MIL was a little taken back by it. She said she knew of him last year, but W told him that it was done. She told me that she was sorry.
