I can't believe it's that difficult to come up with these answers.
1. Was the phone a gift, a real gift? If so, keep the phone. If the phone is on a plan and she's paying for it, tell her to change the name on the plan to yours and you will be responsible for it. Arrange a time to go the cell service provider and fill out the necessary paper work to assume the phone's data & phone plan. Problem solved.
If she's going to make that big a stink about it, give her the phone back and get your own - another solution to the above problem.
2. Yes, you're separated and that means she should be responsible for things she uses especially if she expects the same from you. If she uses the car, she should make the car payment and insurance payment, it's what adults do.
3. Who will have the kids more, you or her? If it's joint custody and she will have the kids just as much as you, take the SUV and give her the corolla. Why? Because you value yourself just as much or more than you value her, sounds selfish but if this is about generating respect, you won't get any respect by giving her everything and doing everything for her and buying her gifts or taking her out for meals, etc. Living without you means living without the things you provided for originally.
If she wants the SUV, tell her to pay for it. Nothing in life is free.
If she has the corolla at least she will be able to transport herself and the kids. And please don't make the argument that you need an SUV to transport the kids. I have a plymouth neon several years ago and I transported my kids back & forth in that sardine can and it was a piece of cake and I didn't feel shortchanged for doing it.
Seriously how big are these kids that you need an SUV to transport them? 250lbs each?!
Let's start asking some real questions, like what DB principles to employ to get your wife back into this marriage.
