HEY ALL!! I picked up DR today and will get started on it tomorrow. As for what I am doing for me? Since she walked out I have lost 23 lbs, dropped my overall body fat, quit smoking (I just finished my first month!!) and have now been taking a Krav Maga course while training on my own.
Outside of those, I picked up my guitar again, I am an avid wood worker and also an R/C car guy sometimes.
There is more as well! I have painted a few rooms in the house, installed a full home theater with THX 7.3 (really its supposed to be 7.1 but I have 3 subwoofers instead of 1) surround sound, and I am now thinking about picking up my old habits of writing songs/poems...so I have PLENTY to keep me busy. I always have.
M:29 W:26 M:3yrs Together:6yrs Seperated:6/22/09
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. --Dylan Thomas
Again, thank you guys for the support and help in this trying time. I am sure I could make it through by myself but I dont know if the outcome would be what I want it to be.
With y'alls help, I am much more confident that I will have a positive outcome to this situation, no matter what happens!
M:29 W:26 M:3yrs Together:6yrs Seperated:6/22/09
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. --Dylan Thomas
Good then. Stay busy and think about other things. It's very hard to do some days, but if you are having the blahs, do something different....if you're watching tv, get the blahs, get up and go for a walk. Go to the mall. It's amazing how fast that can work. I used to not think so and just "try to deal" but now I change my environment or call someone, do something else.
Avoid the R talk for now.
Be the guy every chick wants to be with. Including her. Only positive changes for you though. She only gets to benefit from them. She isn't the driving force....know what I mean?
WHOA WHOA WHOA....Stronger, is this your idea of an economic "stimulus"? If I hit the mall everytime I get down...I will be broke in a week and up to my eyeballs in debt!! Seriously though, I will keep that in mind next time it starts getting to me. If I get down, change what (or who) I'm around!!
I hear ya on the "she is not the driving force..." I think we could all benefit from that mindset. WE DO WHAT IS BEST FOR US AND NO ONE ELSE IN THIS UNIVERSE!!!!!
I could get with that kind of mentality! Sorry I didnt respond earlier, I got done with work then hit the gym.
I know I am doing all of this for ME not HER but...Is it REALLY too much to ask...all I want is for her to see me with my shirt off and think to herself "when did my husband become a GREEK GOD?!?!?!"...thats all.
Anyways, I wish everyone a great day and appreciate the comments, keep em coming! Oh, btw, I will be taking next week to try and catch up on all of yalls stories as best I can!
M:29 W:26 M:3yrs Together:6yrs Seperated:6/22/09
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. --Dylan Thomas
LOL! You don't have to buy anything. Just people watch or window shop. People watching is fascinating. I do it a lot more now. I wonder what their issues are and wonder if I would rather be them, or if they would rather be me....it takes your mind off of what's going on, gives new perspective and that's what you need right now.
And if you really look like a Greek God, she will notice.
Hey Stronger...I do have a few places to go when I get down at home...but I just found out that the one place I stopped going should have been my first place to go to...I have a friend who owns a cigar bar here but I stopped going by there since it was the last place me and my wife had gone to before she dropped the bomb on me!
Well I stopped in last night and visited with all of my old friends there. I felt bad telling them about us being split up...you feel like a failure sometimes...well these guys ALL said that they had been through a divorce...one guy just had his THIRD divorce!
So, I now have a "support" group to retreat to when I need human contact and it feels great knowing they are there!
M:29 W:26 M:3yrs Together:6yrs Seperated:6/22/09
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. --Dylan Thomas
CP...Getting a life is a lot of work!! I have settled into a new routine of eating/working out and am now planning my next few "events" for me.
First up is sky diving! But even before that...I have found a new client of mine that builds exotic supercars...you can check his work out online at www.hennesseyperformance.com I'm going there tomorrow to check out a few of his newer rides and maybe even get to take some for a ride on the course!!
Next up is a week in Vegas to re-connect with some of my long lost fraternity brothers. So, can I count on you guys for bail money?! J/J...should be a lot of fun.
Other than that I have just been trying my best not to contact her, which I havent yet. BUT, how long should I go dark for? She hasnt contacted me in ANY way yet and it has been nearly 2 weeks now! I am worried that I am making a mistake by not contacting her but everyone I talk to says that I should let her make the first move this time!
Let me know what you guys think. Wishing you all well!!!!
M:29 W:26 M:3yrs Together:6yrs Seperated:6/22/09
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. --Dylan Thomas
It sounds like you have some great events planned to keep you busy. I could so use a Vegas trip. You and your fellow Greek Gods should have some great time to reconnect. Very fun. I agree with other's that you should not contact her. If you have any friends in common, or ways for her to see the new you without you contacting her, that would be great. One thing I have learned, is that what feels like ages to me is never long enough to give my H the space he needs. It is at times so incredibly difficult to not contact that I am litteraly crawling out of my skin. Of course we have a kid together so there is daily contact, but it's all business. In my case, it's trying not to do a temperature check and see how things are, what he is thinking, whether he has set up IC, etc etc. It is just in general very difficult to have someone else holding your future in their grasp and having no control over which way it goes. I think that's why you read so much here that you have to focus on you and making yourself a better person regardless what your spouse is doing. Easier said than done in my opinion.
WOO HOO...I made it thru today! She text messaged me about dropping off a check for her half of the car insurance. I texted back a VERY brief response and she came by after she got off of work...
so of course I was just finishing up my workout when she got here! I thought she was going to be....well I didnt know what to expect from her so I just played it cool.
I asked her about her trip to Austin and how work was going. She sat down on the couch and told me about all the problems she is having at work and about how she has finally got one of our mutual friends to admit his drinking problem (thank GOD!!).
The only thing that bothered me was that she didnt ONCE mention anything about US!!???!!! So I didnt either, I just smiled and made sure not to bring the relationship "CLOUD" over our heads which usually sucks the happy right out of a conversation.
I really wanted to ask her about where she saw us going but refrained.
!!!!!!!Ladies of this board!!!!!!! Please HELP A LOVING HUSBAND STAY SANE....DOES SHE EVEN THINK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP AT ALL OR AM I JUST WRITTEN OUT OF HER STORY ALTOGETHER?! Any and all comments are welcome!
M:29 W:26 M:3yrs Together:6yrs Seperated:6/22/09
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. --Dylan Thomas
