I am sorry for bringing you guys down. But, imagine that is the degree of fear and agony you live with every day...most people's sitches change for the better here when they process and make peace that they will be ok no matter what. That goes for those who reconcile and those who divorce.
How long can one live feeling that a likely inevitability will drive them over a cliff? Do you get my drift?
My heart will always be open to the possibility of R with my H but I live with the gift of finally feeling as whole with or without that. I wish that for you too.
I believe my fear of D really negatively impacted my M and kept me from dealing with reality for a long time. Marriage must be choice, not bondage or it fails (even if two stay together). I wouldn't wish a hasty reconcilliation on anyone (h left 6 years ago and came back)...without two people honoring and valuing the marriage, it can't work.
So, can you look over the cliff, face your fear, make peace with it and then choose to try to save your marriage not do it because you will crumble and die otherwise?
Sorry to preach but this is serious biz. I know the pain and the fear so intimately, we all deserve peace.
