I had a really rough weekend and this is just at one point. I went out Saturday night with some work buddies, who as I've mentioned before, inquire about my marriage at every opportunity stemming from something they heard. And as I've stated, I am still pretty vague about my M and just blow it off. Everything was ok until we went to this other club close to home. We had only been there maybe 10 minutes and I see an old business acquaintance and he had this shocked look on his face as if he seen a ghost, and without pause, he says loudly to speak over the music, "Man I heard you got divorced". I probably looked like a ghost after he said that, just utter embarrassment, b/c my friends heard it as well. He and I had business dealings for over a year a couple of years ago, and one day my W brought me something to eat to my business and the dots were connected. He and his wife grew up w/ my wife in the same church and as a result we all resided at the same church. I mentioned in a previous post that my W came over a few months back to tell me about all of the couples at the church that were getting divorced and this was one of the persons she was talking about. So we carry on a bit about that, and I honestly was not trying to so I guess I can blame it on the alcohol; no pun intended. So he asked is it true and I said no it is not true. We are not together but we are not divorced. He says well I'm sorry to tell you this, but that's what your wife is telling people. Then to add further insult, he tells me that the person she was with before me was one of the people he heard it from. I know; believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. I could interject that a few time in this post.

So he later asks if I still go to the church and I said yes. He did not believe me b/c he said he was asked to leave b/c after a divorce one of the spouses has to leave the church for good. I told him that no one had said anything yet and I will continue to go until. At least that is how I felt at the time. Then as we know, people make the world go round, he asked if I knew the person my W was with before me and I said no, I don't involve myself w/ those things. I honestly did not. My W and I never really talked of our past, but she moved from home in with me so my past was all around her. Not in plain sight, but over the years she dug and dug. I was never privy to her past. So he feels obligated to tell me that he knows that this person is more than likely pursuing her. So that goes into “Well if you are not divorced then what's going on, have you two talked about it" I told him for the last time we were not divorced but separated about a year. I told him that I knew he was divorced b/c my W told me about it but she had not offered any outlook on our marriage. So he says "It's been close to a year and you guys have not talked about where this is going". All I could say is no. And as everyone else is telling me, he says "You need to move on man, life is short". So in the process of the conversation he introduces me to some young ladies and I tell him that I just out w/ the fellas and that I was not trying to do anything and had not done anything in 365. So he says that's cool that you want it to work. Now I regret that gave that up.

Now, I have learned a lot about relationships from the insight I've garnered from the forum and from persons in the forum. I have even obtained three books as a result that seem very helpful with understanding all of this; DR, Not Just Friends and No More Mr. Nice Guy; just started this one. W/ that said, I knew that there we no guarantees and not only can I, but I know I have to accept what is. It just ironic that the world view, well at least with people I know they look at me like I'm lost when I proclaim things that I have learned and how I wish to go about it. For instance, if I was to tell someone I don't bring up relationship talk, I am just giving her space. They just can't wrap their minds around it or maybe around the amount of time that has passed. As a result, the "Even though what your doing doesn't feel right you need to do it. You can't do what you would normally do" has made me wonder a few times. This is long enough, but I have more and my W is supposed to be comming over tomorrow so she says I mean text.