If you can possibly afford it, call a coach. I held off doing it for quite a while (thought I could get everything I needed by reading the book eleventy million times) but it is very helpful to have someone listen to your situation and give you specific, concrete advice.

Just my 2.

Me: 50; Wife: 48
Gay; civil union in NJ
no kids
M: 15 years, together 17
Bomb (OW) 2/09 (EA 3mos/PA 3mos) ILYBINILWY
W out of house, w/OW, in separation talks, nothing filed