You allow her to travel half way across the country. And you tell her to have a good time. getting laid is a very good time. You know that she is visting another man. Yet you do not stop her and wait for her to return. SM
SQM- I am confused on just what you think he should do. Chain her up in the basement? You can't stop them when they want to go!
My partner is is doing similar things- blatantly having an affair with someone who lives far away- although in my case, the OW (who is out of a job) comes often to my town to see my partner. They stay together at a friend's house about a half mile away. They have vacationed together. I can't throw my partner out, as we are both on the title to the house and she has as much right to be there as I do.
I am trying to detach, but still be loving and supportive (although not of her affair, obviously). I think if we are friends, even while talking about a separation agreement, she is likely to think about coming back if the other relationship blows up. Throwing her out, getting angry, issuing ultimatums, etc. gets me nothing except her p*ssed at me, and convinced more than ever that it could never work out again between us.
Me: 50; Wife: 48 Gay; civil union in NJ no kids M: 15 years, together 17 Bomb (OW) 2/09 (EA 3mos/PA 3mos) ILYBINILWY W out of house, w/OW, in separation talks, nothing filed
