It is from a combination of things and a lot of thinking. I wasn't loving my W for her, I was loving her for me. That was wrong.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
It was a very nice speech Kevin. Filled with things you have been told here, or in your books, and maybe by your priest, for months.
When you actually live it for real, and over time, it'll mean great progress. For some reason when I read these lengthy pieces by you and know you have not lived them, it sort of hits me wrong. Like I'm playing a game with my dad when he'd quit drinking, again, and wanted applause...now when he was sober for 90 days and then a year, that got me looking and clapping and feeling gratitude and joy.
j-
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 08/17/0908:07 PM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I would like to just erase my sitch all together and start over. I know far more now than when I first started. Unfortunately, you can't remove the past. You can only move forward.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I get the point. I have screwed up bad enough that my thread is an example for everyone to look at and see what not to do. But geez, do you have to go telling everyone that?
Can't I have some dignity? lol.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
In fairness to Kevin, this is a public site and we all read each other's threads...I'm sure it doesn't feel great to be referenced like that but Kevin, you seem to be taking it in stride.
I look so forward to the day when I'll be telling people to check out K4D's thread, because holy cow, has he turned his sitch around.
What do you think, Kev, by Christmas??
And in fairness to you, I won't say that anymore. And I apologize--even though I do think someone like LR1 could really learn from what's gone on w/you. But if I direct someone here, I'll word it in a positive way.
Infact, when you truly love someone, you should already be happy with your life and that person be a compliment to it, not the foundation for it.
In my opinion, if you really believe this, you are getting it. It is counter to the movies, the romance novels, the TV shows.... All of the soulmate, and "he completes" me stuff! A couple does become greater than the sum of the parts, but it's because of their differences and uniqueness, not because they become the same person!
