True Love or True Fog? Changing Forums

[Silver Fox]

Wow BMF and AH, Thanks for your compliments!

I appreciate you both visiting my thread. I've tried to stay strong and maintain some sense of grace, but wise? I don't know. I was a mess like everyone else in the beginning and I didn't start posting until well into the 2nd year, so by then I was doing a better job of acting rather than reacting.

I'll check out your threads and in the meantime I hope you'll keep visiting mine as it seems this D is about to happen.

Hi Karen, thank you too. My L appt. went well. He said I have 2 options. He can meet with H's L on the 24th and ask the judge for more time and another date or we can send an official proposal to his L and see what H does.

I chose to go ahead with the proposal. He should have called H's L on Friday but business tends to shut down early around here on Fridays plus his L is out on vacation next week.

Sooo, kind of anticlimatic. I expected a frantic email or call from H because he's not going to like the offer. But of course one of the most important rules here is NO EXPECTATIONS!

[BaseballMyFanny]

Or he could have a new disease!

You just never know with these guys...

Thanks for visiting my thread,
besos,
BA

[Silver Fox]

Yeah, I believe I'll name that new disease - I'm An Idiot For Leaving My Wonderful Loving Wife For A Wacko Neurotic Control Freak

[Kimmie Lee]

Lol!!

SF, you are doing great.

I love that you chose to stand up for yourself instead of trying to DB yourself silly while h is carrying on with that bimbo. So many here are so "afraid" of making WAS "angry" that they behave like doormat.

I know how painful it is though, and you really are an inspiration.

[KarenMarieS]

Hey Silver
Glad your L appt. went well and for the most part it is usually anticlimatic- which actually is a good thing, who needs the drama

I agree w/ the others, your posts stood out to me too as you seem to really have your head on straight, and know whst you need to do, not that I am sure at times you get angry and hurt but you handle things so well. You direct things in a healthy way.

Agree w/ Kimmie too, in all the years here I have seen way too many people become doormats,and its frustrating--- when you have taken yourself away from the sit as long as I and some others here have, and have hindsight-- but we do what we need to do at the time, and everyone is different I suppose, never been the doormat type myself lol and I see you are not either

Have a terrific week!

[Flicka]

Have you cleaned your shotgun? Are you still 'welcoming' but locked and loaded?

I am glad you are getting praise for being as good and as distant as you are. Obviously, you are self supporting. You are, right?

I think the financial fall-out colors the result and our reactions.

Perhaps you could change the homestead into a pumpkin patch destination!! Like "Little People"!!

I do read along. I laugh and cry about all of us. MWG brought me to my knees with grief.

[Silver Fox]

Kimmie and Karen, thank you.

Flicka, good to hear from you again!

The only "shotgun" I have is my new business-like approach and calm, very short email replies to all things frantic and furious from H.

Speaking of which, I haven't heard a word from him - or my L either for that matter.

I guess "hammering out a settlement" (H's words) by the 24th is not going to happen, seeing as there are just 3 business days left?

[Silver Fox]

Received an email from H yesterday afternoon:

"My L's office says they haven't heard from your L. Could you check on this? Did your L talk to my L on Friday?"

I forwarded it to my L and he says he did indeed talk to H's L on Friday. If we don't have an agreement by Monday he will go in by himself and ask for another date.

So, seems H's L has dropped the ball? In a hurry to go on vacation and can't be bothered with writing up the terms or even calling H?

Now I need a short response to H's email, staying the course with no emotion - all business.

Something like - "My L did speak with your L on Friday. I don't know why you haven't heard from your L."

Frankly, that's all I want to say to him, seems kind of short but that's really all I know!

Any suggestions?

[Silver Fox]

Ok, now I'm so angry on so many different levels. I never sent H a response and I guess I should have because this is the email he sends this morning:

Given the lack of communication I'm assuming there is no hope of reaching a settlement tomorrow. I'm really sory about that--for both of us--but I respect your decision. I was going to have my sister be my "separate and apart" witness but I couldm't justify asking her to come so far without any sense of whether it might be possible to resolve things. I just don't know anyone else. If I'm wrong and you would like the chance to move forward perhaps you would consider asking a friend of yours? We only need one witness.

I don't understand what's happened over these last couple weeks. I thought we were communicating better and moving toward resolution.I'm sorry that had to change.

Is he kidding me?!!! Hello earth to H - we don't even have an agreement!! "We only need one witness"??? - how about we only need a formal, written settlement including our signatures agreeing to, oh let's see: 1. Alimony 2. H's retirement fund 3. What happens to the house, etc., etc., etc.

Not my problem that his L is on vacation all last week - the week that should have been used to pass the terms back and forth until all was settled.

He "thought we were communicating better"???? Oh my God! I don't even know what to say to this. We haven't seen each other in 3 months and the last phone conversation was in June.

He was going to have his sister be a witness?? She lives over 10 hours away!

Damn it H, wake up!

[Silver Fox]

I was in the middle of composing my calm, business-like reply and he sends this:

Again, it appears irrelevent, but I was able to find a witness for tomorrow's hearing if you were open to a resolution. Could you please tell me if there's any point having him there?

He's insane. I think I could ask for $5,000 a month in alimony and he'd sign off on it.

Catbitch must be laying down the hammer.