Wow, you have been through a lot. Clearly you have both made some mistakes and your marriage has taken a toll for it. I'm glad you are here. You will get some good advice on this site. Read other people posts and see what you can gain from that, and read both books twice when you get them, that will set you on the right path. I think it is really important to take a step back and take a deep breath and figure out what you need to do to provide you and your kids some stability. Your son may cry for his mom, but comfort him and reassure him that he will see her later and keep him in the comfort of your care. It sounds like you have been the one doing all the caregiving anyway. Don't take them over to her and have her treat them like she doesn't want them. That isn't going to help. Follow the plan you have set up and focus on you and the kids. And, get into some counseling so you can work on you. If your wife will go, great, but do it for you if not.
I don't know what else to say, but I will be following your posts and wishing you well.
