Young couple in need of help

[sumguy27]

Here goes. I have been with my wife since Highschool. I knew from the first time we meet this is going to be my wife. She and I have had our ups and downs from the begining of our relationship.

One of the things that might be different with my younger generation is there is a lot of tools out there on the internet that can be used for either good or bad. For instants Myspace and Facebook. We both have one and it was suppose to be only to keep in touch of lost friends and family members far away. We both have had emotional affiars with that particular site. Another things is yes we are a young couple and she is still in the party mode. While I grew out of it she always wanted to go to the clubs and bars with her girlfriends.

We both never had good communication as she would just hold everthing inside till something big dramatic happens and she lets it all out.

Since we have been married things were tough. I pushed her to finish school and have a career. I tired my best to do the right thing for my family. I have given so much effort and love that I felt I never recieved any from her. After my second child things really went south. I felt she took advantage of me as I did all the chours and took care of the kids. Thankfully my mother watches my kids when I go to work and she stays with us during the weekdays. What I meant was even if she came home first she would wait for me to get home to cook. She wouldn't clean and would wait till I pick up around the house. I did it all the time. She wouldn't bath my kids as much and she would wait till my days off to let me know to give my childern a bath. I did it because I thought that maybe she is just tired from work? But then it became everyday.

I don't go to the clubs as much as her either. She knows if I work the next morning I don't go and out or get wasted. So she would plan events with her friends on Thursdays or Fridays. At first I didn't put my foot down because I didn't want her to say I lock her in a cage. So I stayed home and watched my kids. Then it became every other week and then every week of her going out all the time. I got sick of it and told her how I felt. "Why is there always a girls night out, bachlorette party, bridel shower, all the time and why is it at the club?" I would say.

Then with our sex life never went back to normal after my daughter was born. I would try anything to get intamite with her and she always had a excuse of "I'm not in the mood, I'm tired, I look like crap etc." I didn't care because I just wanted some affection for being a good parent and father. I guess I thought if I did all these good deeds couldn't she just give me some loving at night so I know I'm not in a hopeless marriage?

So I did the unthinkable. I had a affiar with a another woman. I felt horrible after it happened because I realistically just wanted that to be with my wife. But then I had been blinded by that affiar. I would start to second guess everything. She eventually found out and confrontted me one night. I didn't know what to say to her and she grabbed my kids and said I'm leaving. I sat there on the bed just speechless. She came in the house 3 times for me to stop her but I couldn't. She threaten me with my kids and what her plan was. But a few days after she came back and was crying for us to fix this. I was not ready at the time and said maybe its best if we seperate for now so we can think things through? That was such a mistake. We both found our own apartments as the house we were living in went into foreclosure.

She was so sad and I couldn't even look past of what and how we got to that point. Her friends we not a big help either. I don't know but with her friends the first words that came out of there mouths was "lets go to the club and find you a new man and forget about that loser."

The weekend before we were going to move into our apartments I had a cousin who was throwing his wife a golden birthday party. Being embrassed about my situation and didn't want to argue at there party with her there or her friends I decided thats its ok for her to go and I'll hang out with a different group of friends. I got home about 1:30am and she didn't come home till 4am. Later in the week I found out she had meet a guy who is just a friend the night before at the club and he showed up there and she introduce him to all of my boys. They were stunned but unlike her friends didn't want to tell me because its none of there business. I later found out because one of them couldn't bare me to not know what happened.

Ever since that weekend it has been wired. She has totally chagned her atitude. She is so angry with me when I call and text her about anything. We agreed on every other week with the kids. I had the kids the first week of our seperation. My son got pink eye some how and gave it to my daugther. I'm a young father who has no clue about kids or don't have all the answers. All my son kept asking was his mom. So when I called her to come check up on them she refused. And said I'm there father deal with it. That was the shock of my life.

Eventually it got worst. I can see my kids pain and I said we need to fix this. So I started to push her to come back. She refused and said we are done and no more. I'm not your wife and there will never be us again. I was so hurt that she could say something like that and doesn't she see her little kids suffering? So I pushed and pushed. Now I know that was the wrong thing to do since I found this site.

I went over a couple weeks back when she had the kids and after work to check up on them because I miss them. There sitting on her couch was a ex boyfriend of hers that she had a love triangle with me back in highschool. I was so hurt and angry to see him there. Her excuse was because he wanted to see his cousin who was renting the place to her. I know thats not the truth.

Fast forward since this has gotten to be very long. I still kept pushing her and last thursday I confronted this guy who she meet and introduce to my friends. It was just last thursday. I told him to leave my wife the F alone. He said that there only just friends. I told him I know his game and he only wants one thing from her. (I found out about his ways as a womanizer who preys on the weak woman who has just came out of relationships. he use to date my neice who was having trouble with her relationship a couple years back. Thats how I got this assholes number.) I did what any desperate man would do. I told him if he doesn't leave then there is going to be drama between us and I'll hunt him down. He obviously told her what I did and she said to leave her the F alone.

Fast forward to last weekend. We both went to a wedding of a close friend of ours. I had the kids so I brought them. Instead of sitting with me she sits with some of her bad apple friends and keeps telling other people to get her kids for her. So immature. I have all the kids stuff and instead of her just getting it her self she would ask friends to come grab it from me like diapers, bottles etc. I was just completely angry with her. Then she just got completely wasted. So drunk she was falling around everywhere and flirting with the camera guy. Right in front of me. I couldn't do anything to help. And because it was my week with the kids she felt it was my responsiblity to watch them there while she had her fun and get drunk. Our friends were stunned of her actions and I had to have my guys help me watch my son as he was running around trying to get attention from her. They eventually fell asleep and I had to take them home. I asked my cousin to help me bring the kids to my apartment. We got to my apartment and my son woke up crying because instead of seeing his mother he saw "uncle" who he did not want. My buddie started to tell him he was going to go back and find his mommy for him and he panic and said" don't worry ok I will get her for you. He got back it was too late. She had left with her friends. I tried calling but no answer. My little son and to fall asleep crying to himself as he doesn't understand. He woke up crying for her the next morning. I said screw it I don't care if she is hung over he is going to see his mother. So instead of our usual pick up time of 6pm I sent the kids over at 10 am. She was annoyed and yelled at me because she was still hung over. I said look he wants you and I'm not his mother. She took them in annoyed and it was heart breaking for me too see her take it out on my kids. They are so young.

I have ordered both books and am waiting for them to arrive. I seriously need help as I'm so desperate right now and I fear for the worst.