Saturday: Made the 4 hour trip with D3 to my grandfather's birthday party. D3 was amazingly good, although she did vomit in the car one the way down). W is right when she says "They (the girls) are much easier to handle when they are apart." Accidently left cell phone in W's purse from date night before. I guess she didn't realize that and tried calling several times and ended up calling my dad to try to talk to me, we had already left the party and were on the way when she called. When we got home (11PM), I saw that the light in our bedroom light was on. By the time I had gotten up to the room, the light was off and she was asleep (or at least acting) on her far side of the bed. She woke up when I got to bed and asked how the party was. She seemed distant. She said that she called a few times to see how we were doing. I told her that I had left the phone in her purse and thought she would have figured it out. I guess not. Anyway she seemed to warm up a little after she realized what happened.
Going to sleep left an awkward moment: Me: "This is wierd" W: "It is awkward" M: "I'm not sure what you want me to be." W: "How about a friend" M: "OK... Do you want me to kiss you goodnight?" W: "What about on the cheek."
I kiss her on the cheek and we hug.
W: "May I have your back?"
We cuddle and go to sleep.
Sunday: As always, it is the children that wake us up on the weekend. My wife gets out of bed first because it is she that the girls are pulling on. However, I force myself up shortly there after. We spend the morning making pancakes for her mom and the girls; it is somewhat of a ritual to do this on the weekend. Chocolate Chip for the girls; Honey-wheat for us and MIL. We then got ready and went to church. We came home, W & MIL put some lunch together as I mowed the lawn. W & MIL put together quite a lunch: Hamburgers, Pasta salad, Fruit salad, Creamed Rice, Bread and Rolls. Lunch was relaxing and W told me to play with girls while she cleaned up. I painted with D5 while D3 did her own thing.
After dishes, W asked if I wanted to go out and get some items to do some gardening. We run to get some mulch and new flowers and spend much of the rest of the day gardening. Afterward, we were both pretty hot so she suggest jumping in the baby-pool with the girls. A water fight pursues which was a ton of fun for the entire family. Afterward, we are drying off and cleaning up in our room. She walks by and I kiss her on the head. "Sorry, I couldn't help it", I say as I touch her cheek to look at me. We have a gentle kiss until D3 says "Mommy, daddy. Stop kissing." As we pull away, she says "I love you so much." "I love you a lot too." my reply.
She suggests that we have movie night. So I take D5 to rent a movie for the night (Coraline). Ended up that W made us turn it off before it ended because she thought it was too disturbing for the girls. We put the girls to bed and went to our room to settle down. She sees me pulling out the foot lotion.
Knowing that it is for she says "Oh, thank you". "No problem", I reply
While lotioning her feet, she mentions that her hamstrings are sore from all the gardening she did this weekend. M: "Would you like me to massage them too?" W: "No, that's alright." M: "You can leave you pajama bottoms on." W: "No, I didn't mean it like that. I just figured you were tired." M: "No, I'm fine." W: "Sure, OK then."
I get the body lotion and she helps me with the pajama bottoms and lies down on her stomach. I spend probably 20 minutes on her calves and quads. OK, I am a guy and ready to go on at this point. I ask if she would like me to take the rest off. She says "No, thats OK".
I lie down next to her and continue rubbing her back. I think she fell asleep. When I stop, she opens her eyes and says "I know I love you." She puts on her pajama bottoms and gets under the covers. W: "Thank you. I had a wonderful day." M: "I did too." W: "I had a wonderful weekend" M: "They always are." W: "I know. That is why I think if I just disappeared and did nothing, I could be happy."
I think that she meant if she stopped working and never saw OM again, she would be happy. But I did not ask for clarification because I didn't want any R talk.
w: "Good night" M: "Good night"
We kiss gently on the lips again.
Monday: We wake up. She pours my coffee and we go sit outside for a while. She tells me that her MIL told her that she was sexually assaulted by a doctor during an examination when she was 21 (MIL knows nothing of W's rape). I say something that it is crazy that there are that many creeps out there that can do such things. Among other things, she says "It is men in power who think they can use it to do anything. That women are there to serve them. They use it to control women". She said that she thinks she is going to tell the girls her own story when they go to HS just so they can know what can happen. She says "that incident ruined my life". I try to say that her that her life was not "ruined" only "impacted". She says "No it has ruined my relationship with you, everything."
Later, we are standing in front of the window looking at the gardening we had completed the day before. I am behind her with my arms wrapped around her. W: "It looks so nice. Thank you for your help." M: "No problem." W: "I feel so close to you right now."
Standing in front of the car before she is about to leave for work she asks for a hug. I give her a hug. She kisses me on the cheek, I kiss her on the lips and she responds in kind. She hugs me tighter, I can feel her heart pounding. She is headed back to work where she will interact OM ("snake") for another week. She grabs my hand and holds it tightly before sliding in her car to go. Nothing was said, we both knew what it was all about.
