Jeff, first off, glad to hear from you again! You asked why this bothers me and really it is just because it is plain rude and unneccessary. However you were completely correct when you said, "isn't your problem!" because it isn't. I just need to learn to lower my expectations - or better yet, not have any - when we interact. I'm being a bit too Polyannish in my hopes for civility it seems.
You are also right in the fact that X has poisoned his mind and he's probably trying to please her by acting the way he thinks she wants him to act. To that end, it makes perfect sense b/c she'll only pick out weak men who will do what she wants when she wants. I was that weak man once and when I started to take care of myself and find my own, independent voice, she had an affair and filed for divorce. She's continuing the pattern of picking up ones she can control.
Again, it is ironic that she was the one who claimed it was me who was the control freak. Talk about a bit of projection, eh?
Kalni - How can I forget so easily? Thanks for the wake up reminder:
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STAY AWAY!!!!! ... Keep it polite, not cordial. DO NOT forget your x is bad news. Smile and wave FROM A DISTANCE!!!!!
Absolutely correct! I was just thinking wishfully and trying to do the "right thing." However, it is only the "right thing" if both people are on the same page.
Carlos - I like your point about "being the better man" b/c it is their problem and not mine. Absolutely true and something I need to be sure to remember.
Gypsy - Hello again! It is good to hear from you. I liked this visual:
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They'll wonder why you're laughing when you're waving from far away.
In fact, I used all of your thoughts yesterday at the drop-off. See they were in their usual non-civil state and I asked them about starting school tomorrow w/the usual "start of school" meetings filled w/nonsense and boredom.
So, I made a point to ask them "Are both of you excited to hit those meetings tomorrow?" X answered but BF said nothing. So, I said to BF: "Wow, [BF's name]! It sounds like you're really fired up for tomorrow, eh?"
X looked a BF and she had a smirk on her face...probably something like "See, I told you my XH is an A-hole, didn't I?" but I really didn't care. I was too busy laughing at the absurdity of their attitudes.
So, for now, I'll be taking the high road and just being polite and cordial. If they don't like it, tough.
Thanks for the input on the situation. I really liked what I read.
On the GF note, we had a good weekend. Her surprise party for her 16-year-old daughter went well and although we were up until 4 am and then cleaning up all day yesterday and last night, not only did we have fun, but her daugher was really appreciative of what we did.
Ok, I've got to head back to work now and earn my paycheck. Talk to you all later.
